Keep Holding On

While watching Glee today this song came on. I sat and listened, really listened to the message written within the song. Filled my heart.

You're not alone
Together we stand
I'll be by your side, you know I'll take your hand
When it gets cold
And it feels like the end
There's no place to go
You know I won't give in
No I won't give in

Keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
Just stay strong
'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you
There's nothing you could say
Nothing you could do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through

So far away
I wish you were here
Before it's too late, this could all disappear
Before the doors close
And it comes to an end
With you by my side I will fight and defend
I'll fight and defend
Yeah, yeah

Hear me when I say, when I say I believe
Nothing's gonna change, nothing's gonna change destiny
Whatever's meant to be will work out perfectly
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

rain..

Just wanted to share how much I am loving listening to the rain as I am in bed tears streaming down my face thinking to myself how much I love my life. Maybe it's because of you.

NINETEEN

The most important event of the year occured this past weekend which of course was my birthday. I finally hit the age where I would love to pause life. Nineteen. It was an EXTREMELY fun weekend and I'm so greatful for all my wonderful friends who made it a very special day/night for me. It was strange to see the people who made an effort to wish me a happy birthday, people whom I barely talk to and then there were other 'friends' who couldn't give two shits if they spoke to me or not. It's the important days when the people who care shine.

The week started slow I lacked motivation in attending uni so didn't bother to go and instead layed around home and watched movies all day. loved it. Rained pretty much all week so just sat inside snuggled up in my pjs. Thursday I finally thought I should actually attend one day of uni for the week so all smelling from my spray tan I went. Friday was the day when the weekend started. Went shopping with mum, booked my queensland accomodation (in a sweeeet hotel!) and then had an awesome all you can eat dinner complimentary of Nan. Family is a concept I hold deep in my heart and I love that my birthday brang together everyone for a good time. Saturday was when all the fun was had. Breakfast with daddy and then netball was cancelled so just cleaned up the house ready for the night. Milly was nice enough to do a gorgeous job of my makeup and my friends all came over for a few drinks before heading into town. This is when my memory of the night ends unfortunatley haha but luckily cameras were around to make sure I saw what did happen! Had an amazing night :)

I can't thank everyone enough for coming and seeing everyone really made my birthday happy it's way better then gifts shows appreciation for me. Love you.

Really excited for Queensland which is now only 8 weeks and 2 days away really, really pumped for the best week of my life with an awesome friend!

Uni exams now only 2 weeks away. Nervous, but hopefully will stay calm and positive and end the semester on a positive level! Still considering deferring for the next semester and exploring around before I settle down to start the rest of my life. Can't live life boring because I never know when it's going to end.

Riley (L)

Really upset tonight. Coming to the realisation that my beautiful dog Riley whom has been my best friend for 13 years is old and is going to be putdown soon. He has been a member of my family for so long and has whethered all the storms by my side. I'm really hoping it won't happen anytime soon and I'm truly going to miss my little puppy. Death is such a terrbile feeling and I would never wish it upon anyone! I hate feeling the way I'm feeling right now I'm finding it hard to be somewhat happy and joyous when I know something I love is soon going to be taken away from me. It's really true how much a pet impacts on a person's life and he will never be replaced in my heart.

This week I have put alot of thought into deferring my uni degree and working overseas or something! Just wish I could decide what to do! Hopefully soon it will come to me what I want to do soon. I want to travel, explore but mainly escape. I want to leave the bullshit behind and create a life for me. There's more out there I'm just waiting to go find it.

Life

Decided to do a quick short post while I'm waiting around to go to work.
SOOOOOOO happy because I've booked a holiday to queensland for the holidays with my friend. We are the two of the most indecisive people but we managed to book flights. I can't wait to get away from all the drama of Newcastle it's way too small of a town!

Being working ALOT these last two weeks and now I'm trying to take every shift and save every penny all for my trip away which I cannot wait for only 11 more weeks yay! At work I serve many, many different types of people. This one guy has touched my life like no other. His face had been severly burnt and was now just one big scar. As much as i feel sorry for people like this man and others who have had to overcome such a painful experience it makes me feel so very lucky for myself and I feel so greatful to live the life i do live.

Today I have been wondering what I really want to do with my life. I love uni and I am enjoying my degree but I really want to experience something different before I settle down in my future. I want to live life for a while do something fun and spontaneous as your not young forever!

Birthday in a few weeks so I'm pretty excited. It's a little scary how fast this last year has gone but been a very good year. 19 is such an ugly age haha. No longer the little baby 18 year old anymore! I still get extremely excited over my birthday, it's that one day of the year when everything gets to be about me. Sounds selfish but I enjoy it alot!

People. Make up shit. People. Believe it.
ANNOYS THE FUCK OUT OF ME! I am sooooo sick of how storys are getting twisted, how people just can't tell someone else they are upset with them to there face! I know your bored with your own life but stop making stuff up about me! Something so little turns into the biggest news around when it's not even true! Seriously grow the fuck up ay. I now know you can't trust anybody to keep a secret anymore. Do not tell anyone because they don't care about you they just care about telling your life to someone else. One day I will totally unleash with all the secrets I know about people because it seems thats just what everyone else is doing.

Off to work now, I'll have a whole boring 4 hours to think about life and shit so maybe I'll be back tonight to tell you a little bit more. Until then... where else but queensland? =]