Friday, June 25, 2010

Don't be afraid to fall

How can it be so easy to fall asleep in his arms? Is it because they offer protection and assurance that everything will be okay or because he kisses me on the forehead just as I'm drifting off or because my hand snuggles right into his.

Finally finished uni for this semster and soon will be putting in for my deferring. After 4 very spread exams I am very glad that it's finally holidays. What I can't believe is it's less than 4 weeks till Queensland. Where did the time go?

I really can't believe how much my life is pretty much a season of The Hills but unfortunately I'm not getting paid or put on TV. It's crazyyy but makes me laugh at the same time. I don't know why people would want drama in their life, simple is soo much better!

Loving the connections I am currently having around me. Some people I would never expect turn out to be some of the best people around and I hope they stay around and yes I'm talking about you Miss Elli :)

I'm finally ready to fall into the unknown to make mistakes and really live life.

CurrentlyLoving; Snuggles, Holding hands, Heater, The Hills <3

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Gotta speak soft and listen harder

The last week I've had many thoughts running wild through my mind. Thinking keeps me up at night and I keep imagining the future.

I have learnt that in this life to survive we need friends, love and happiness. This week is the first time I have been truly happy in a long time. I am truly happy in myself and it can be seen by others even affected my abilty to play netball.

I have also learnt that change is always going to happen whether we are ready for it or not. Life throws us a curve ball and we have to hit it as hard as we can. A change in opinion of someone, a change in style or even a change in friends. No matter what happens stay true and stick up for yourself and you will find out who your true friends are.

'When one door closes another one opens' - probably the most truest saying ever. Something even better is waiting around the corner and everything happens for a reason. Even if I don't get the job I had an interview for it was still an awesome experience to get as far as I did and another better position will be out there for me.

Not sure where I'm going and I'm getting there no where fast but I'm sure loving the ride.

CurrentlyLoving; lacey tights, L.A Candy - Lauren Conrad, dressing gown, hanging with a boy, life

Monday, June 14, 2010

I dance the way I feel

There's a peace in sitting outside in the night time. No cars driving, no kids screaming just my own thoughts. Even though it's too cold to stay outside very long now I quite enjoyed how peaceful it was tonight. It was sad though, no stars shining down upon me. I wish the world was safe so I could just walk the streets alone at night-time.

So this weekend was a long weekend for the Queen's birthday. I'd first like to thank the Queen for this 3 day weekend and I hope she also takes a day off when it's my birthday. Went down to Sydney to visit my family and had a great time. I love getting away and I really, really love my family. I don't know what I would do if I couldn't talk to my immediate family almost everyday and see my relatives every so often. Now as an adult I really bond with my cousins and it's something I hold with my whole heart.

This weekend was also my Daddy's birthday, so happy birthday Dad. I looked at my dad on Sunday and really looked at him. Now a 48 year old man I see him slowly aging. My dad the fitness finatic who has always looked the same to me now is getting wrinkles. I hate seeing him getting older no being able to do some things now but I look back and see he is one of the happiest people I know and I am so lucky to have him as my dad.

My mum this weekend also went away. It's been great having the house to myself I feel so responsible and adult like and I love doing what I want when I want not that I pretty much don't already haha. My first night alone I spent curled up in bed watching a dvd and eating doritos. Unfortunatley if I ever decide to live alone I won't be able to have doritos with dip as I found out I am unable to undo the lid haha. I had an early night while all my friends went out and partied I just couldn't be bothered.

Today I lost myself in a book which only took me one day to read. Ironically the book is called Losing it - Lizze Wilcock. The book is set in Newcastle which I think is what I really like about it as I can relate to it's surroundings. It's about 16 year old girls going through normal teenage stuff. I loved it. I'm sure I will re-read this plenty of times. It's funny how easily I can loose myself in a book about someone else's life then relate it to mine. Helps make things much clearer. The thing that springs to mind is rumours. Such funny things, usually an exaggerated truth. I don't know why or how but somehow people thought I was moving and throwing a party this weekend. Couldn't be more wrong. The only thing that upsets me about rumours about me is how quick people who know me the most believe them. I get so upset that they think if it's something so important like moving that I wouldn't message them or atleast post a facebook status. I responded by just shutting out the world for a few hours.

Also, another thing I have learnt from my book is learning that the future is now. Today not tomorrow and not yesterday. And I am the only person who can make my future. I spent most of the night talking with a friend about past events of which we have both similarly been through. It felt really nice to share the experience with someone who finally understands what I went through and I think I may have helped her get through too.

Tomorrow I have my second last exam for the semester. Probably the easiest exam I will have so lets hope all goes well. Later this week I have a job interview for a job I wouldn't mind getting at this stage of my life. I am quite nervous but confident in my abilty and if I am confident it is a quality the employer will see as an asset and help me get the job. Lot's of exciting things coming up Queensland only 5 weeks away now woo can't wait!

live, learn, trust, love, life

Monday, June 7, 2010

Because of your smile you make life beautiful

So many crazy thoughts always running through my head but I just can't seem to pull them together.

Well here's how this week started off. Netball. Lost. Complacent. Who thought that team could beat us? 3 little goals. Fail. Some people really, really frustrate me and I can't keep it in any longer. AHHHHHHHHHHH is what I feel like screaming in their ears! In hind sight the loss will do the team good. We don't feel king shit anymore and have more willpower to win.

Feel really good about leaving my comfort zone this weekend. Done something pretty random I'm normally too scared to do but did it. Result wasn't the greatest but was better then expected. A step in the right direction. Also really happy about my purchase of a new jacket really excited to wear it! :)

Sunday. Poor little whale got beached as bro on Bar Beach. Really sad the whale passed. But really random to think something like that happens in Newcastle.
Sunday night. Should've spent studying but instead found it much more appealing to watch TV. Monday morning. 2 hours before exam, really should've studied last night. 1 exam down 3 to go. Luckily my exams are fairly spread so I should learn from this and attempt to study for the remaining.

Tonight was surprisingly good. After my dad made our netball team do the beep test I felt really good. I guess running really does release the good endorphins. I came home and had a nice hot shower then snuggled up on the lounge. Discovered a show I had never heard of before. One of the funniest shows I've watched in a while; "The Inbetweeners." Can't wait till it's on again!

Tomorrow I am considering going for a back and neck massage to spoil myself for a change :)
Only 6 weeks till Queensland now getting so close can't wait!
Motto for the week; live, learn, trust, love, life

Thursday, June 3, 2010


It's offically the 3rd day of winter. For 2 weeks it's been raining and I really miss summer. I dislike the coldness and the sun setting early I can't wait for summer to swing back around!

Uni exams starting next week and I'm a little bit nervous. Feels like the HSC all over again. Haven't started studying yet hopefully can have a cram session this weekend and manage to pass all of my subjects.

Finally decided I am deferring uni next semester. Been applying for fulltime jobs and working holidays overseas so hopefully something soon arises. I am not too worried about what is going to happen just excited to have some time off study and time to relax and prioritise my life.

Music is my passion in life and when I'm listening to it I can't feel the rest of the world. Today downloading new tunes and making new playlists I lost track of all time and all drama and just fell into the beating song for 3 minutes. Because I was in such a good mood I went for a loooong walk occasionaly shutting my eyes to feel the song in my heart. I love it. Simple beats and lyrics really capture my heart.