Monday, June 14, 2010

I dance the way I feel

There's a peace in sitting outside in the night time. No cars driving, no kids screaming just my own thoughts. Even though it's too cold to stay outside very long now I quite enjoyed how peaceful it was tonight. It was sad though, no stars shining down upon me. I wish the world was safe so I could just walk the streets alone at night-time.

So this weekend was a long weekend for the Queen's birthday. I'd first like to thank the Queen for this 3 day weekend and I hope she also takes a day off when it's my birthday. Went down to Sydney to visit my family and had a great time. I love getting away and I really, really love my family. I don't know what I would do if I couldn't talk to my immediate family almost everyday and see my relatives every so often. Now as an adult I really bond with my cousins and it's something I hold with my whole heart.

This weekend was also my Daddy's birthday, so happy birthday Dad. I looked at my dad on Sunday and really looked at him. Now a 48 year old man I see him slowly aging. My dad the fitness finatic who has always looked the same to me now is getting wrinkles. I hate seeing him getting older no being able to do some things now but I look back and see he is one of the happiest people I know and I am so lucky to have him as my dad.

My mum this weekend also went away. It's been great having the house to myself I feel so responsible and adult like and I love doing what I want when I want not that I pretty much don't already haha. My first night alone I spent curled up in bed watching a dvd and eating doritos. Unfortunatley if I ever decide to live alone I won't be able to have doritos with dip as I found out I am unable to undo the lid haha. I had an early night while all my friends went out and partied I just couldn't be bothered.

Today I lost myself in a book which only took me one day to read. Ironically the book is called Losing it - Lizze Wilcock. The book is set in Newcastle which I think is what I really like about it as I can relate to it's surroundings. It's about 16 year old girls going through normal teenage stuff. I loved it. I'm sure I will re-read this plenty of times. It's funny how easily I can loose myself in a book about someone else's life then relate it to mine. Helps make things much clearer. The thing that springs to mind is rumours. Such funny things, usually an exaggerated truth. I don't know why or how but somehow people thought I was moving and throwing a party this weekend. Couldn't be more wrong. The only thing that upsets me about rumours about me is how quick people who know me the most believe them. I get so upset that they think if it's something so important like moving that I wouldn't message them or atleast post a facebook status. I responded by just shutting out the world for a few hours.

Also, another thing I have learnt from my book is learning that the future is now. Today not tomorrow and not yesterday. And I am the only person who can make my future. I spent most of the night talking with a friend about past events of which we have both similarly been through. It felt really nice to share the experience with someone who finally understands what I went through and I think I may have helped her get through too.

Tomorrow I have my second last exam for the semester. Probably the easiest exam I will have so lets hope all goes well. Later this week I have a job interview for a job I wouldn't mind getting at this stage of my life. I am quite nervous but confident in my abilty and if I am confident it is a quality the employer will see as an asset and help me get the job. Lot's of exciting things coming up Queensland only 5 weeks away now woo can't wait!

live, learn, trust, love, life

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